Do you feel like everyone is getting married but you? Are you sad because it feels like your day will never come? Do you feel unworthy because love does not come easy for you? Read on.
You know that you are healed on the inside when you can truly celebrate someone when they receive something you are dreaming for.
I recently wrote a blog post about the deception of social media. However, there are a lot of positive things about social media to consider. For one, I love to see how people celebrate each other on social media. Post about reaching milestones such as graduations, pregnancies, first house, marriage announcements, etc. get the most likes and engagements. It’s refreshing to see people love each other that way.
The downside is you now have a front row seat to what’s going on in people’s lives. When you have your own desires or dreams that have not manifested yet, it can be hard to watch everyone getting there before you (or at least what seems like everyone).
When it feels like things are not happening fast enough for you, remember that you are the only one with the power to reverse those feelings of inadequacy. Easier said than done, I know. But here are 5 simple steps that you can take to safe-guard your heart and feel worthy again as a single woman.
Get Off Social Media
When you find yourself feeling jealous, envious, or even unhappy about someone else’s success, it’s time to take a break from social media for self-evaluation. Put some time aside to isolate yourself to assess your feelings. Whatever you do, do not try to suppress those feelings because they can tell you a lot. Truth is, there’s no shame in being discouraged; feelings are a normal part of life. But those feelings also need to be addressed because eventually they become detrimental to your overall health. I recommend acknowledging your feelings in a journal. Write down how you feel and why, then move on to step 2.
Take Your Feelings to God
I want you to know that your love-delayed does not mean that something is wrong with you. You are beautiful on the inside and out and your life is beautiful, too. Gather your feelings and lay them at the feet of Jesus. By spending alone-time with God, you will come to the realization that you have a lot to offer to the world — married or not. When I took a break from social media, it was easier for me to align with the thoughts of God towards me. They are thoughts of worthiness. Take as much time as you need to heal, then you can approach the world with genuineness. Let’s take a look at Step 3.
Be Genuine
You know that you are healed on the inside when you can truly celebrate someone after they receive something you are dreaming for. And if you can’t say something genuine, don’t say nothin’ at all (in my Thumper voice). When we comment on people’s Facebook post, it should be something that they can ‘take to the bank’. You should mean what you say and what you write. That person is celebrating a big moment in their life and they are excited to share it with family and friends. No one deserves an empty “happy-for-you” or “congratulations”. Do not comment or “like” merely out of habit, if your heart is not in the right place. Stay genuine. Step 4 is really going to help you to do that.
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Romans 12:19 ESV
Give a Gift
When you truly want to be happy for someone but your feelings continue to fail you, give a gift to bless a married couple. It’s a great way to fight tough feelings. Words can be cheap and it’s easy to leave a comment on a post, but giving takes physical and mental effort. You can’t give without expending energy.
First, you have to contemplate the best gift you can afford, and then you have to actually search for it. There’s no better way to distract your feelings when you feel like everyone else is getting married but you. At some point in the gift-giving process, you will smile for doing something good. That financial sacrifice is an investment into your future and what you want others to do for you. Luke 6:38 says, Give and it will be given to you. I love this book by Gary Chapman about love as a way of living.
”You know that you are healed on the inside when you can truly celebrate someone when they receive something you are dreaming for.”
Be Still
Step 5 is being still when everyone is getting married around you. Don’t be jealous of what you see on the outside. Who knows what that couple had to go through to get where they are. Their issues may be different from yours, but none the less we all need support from one another. Be still. Do not throw yourself into the dating world to take control of your own life. You’ll only find yourself in a relationship you are unhappy with, if you were already unhappy. Instead, continue working on your values and your relationship with Christ. The right person will be attracted to that. Yes, some jerks will try their luck along the way, but the right person will also come.
Do you feel like everyone is getting married around you? What is something you do to fight your feelings? Have you ever found yourself commenting on a Facebook post just-because? Let me know!
Love you Gem, Shawandie
G.E.M.S- Godly Women Enjoying the Magnificence of Singleness