Do you remember the first time your feelings were hurt by a broken promise? Was it caused by a friend, an acquaintance, or maybe even a parent? It may seem like there are no repercussions when it comes to holding up our words but breaking a promise can really damage feelings, relationships, and reputations. There is so much power in doing what you say you will do because broken promises matter.
Be the integrity you want your husband to match.
What’s a Promise?
Too many people get caught up in normal conversations, saying what sounds good at the moment only to walk away with no intentions of following through on their word. I once thought that a promise wasn’t a officially promise unless I said out loud “I promise”, even throw in a pinkie link to officially seal the deal. However, now I know that a promise is simply telling someone you will do something and keeping that promise entails actually doing what you said you would do. It’s very simple, but sometimes we like to overcomplicate things. If it helps, here is a more professional definition of promise:
Prom·ise (/ˈpräməs/)
noun
- telling someone you will do something, then actually doing it
I have been hurt many times by broken promises, just like you. It’s a terrible feeling to be let down; even worst when you experience it over and over again. It tempts you to not only stop caring about other people…but about everything. If people can say what sounds good and break their word as they see fit, why should you expend the energy it takes to keep a promise to someone? Let me tell you why you should never stop striving to be a woman of integrity, even while the world around you is falling a part. Later on, we’ll discuss what it looks like to keep your promises in different types of relationships.
The thoughts and purposes of the righteous are just (honest, reliable), but the counsels and schemes of the wicked are deceitful.
Proverbs 12:1
God Keeps His Promises to Us
God is my favorite standard. I measure up to what I should be like by looking at Him, not measuring down according to how people treat me. I rather treat people the way He treats me. These characteristics of God- kind, dependable, faithful, promise keeper- make me want Him more. God will never encourage you to give up on people, instead He will reward you for being a consistent person who preservers in serving other people no matter what. In 1 John 2:25, the Bible says “And this is the promise he hath promised us: eternal life.” Imagine if we couldn’t trust in His Words! The assurance we feel knowing that God can not lie, anchors our soul. And without His promises we would be hopeless, drifting souls with no one to believe in but fickle humans.
To some people, we are their only example of God. When we follow through with things we say we are going to do, it pleases God because keeping promises is an act of service and love. If you say you are going to call someone back, do it. If you say you are going to get them a baby shower gift, do it. Or if you promised a friend or acquaintance that will pray for them, do it. The promises we keep to them is a part of our witness to them about God. Our words will be nothing more than a tinkling cymbal to ears, until we recognize the power in our words.
Family and Friends and Broken Promises
My husband forgot to follow through with a promise he made to our daughter. Don’t worry wifey was there to remind him, as we always are ;). I expressed to him how important it is that we follow through with things we tell our children. Though she was only 5 years old, we are building our reputation with her. We don’t want her growing up to believe that there are no power in her words.
However, the truth of the matter is: we wont be able to fulfill every promise that we make to others because life happens, right? The weather can change, family emergencies might come up, or sometimes we overbook. However, you are still obligated to at least follow-up because you gave your word. Shoot a quick, sincere apology or reschedule for a later date but don’t dismiss your broken promise hoping that the other party will just forget about it.
They speak vanity every one with his neighbor: with flattering lips, and with a double heart do they speak.
Psalm 12:2
The Importance of Promises
Here’s a little story about how important it is for me to keep my word- I had a co-worker who had recently gotten married. I wasn’t able to attend the wedding but I told her I would get her a gift. First, I put the task on my to-do list in my journal. After that, I followed up with her by telling her that I needed a couple more weeks because of some unexpected expenses that came up. Lastly, I finally bought the gift. However, our situation had changed. She accepted another position so we no longer worked together in the same building. It would have been easy for me to give up and use that as an excuse. Instead, I reached out to her for her home address and personally delivered her gift. To be completely honest, buying the gift put some serious financial pressure on my budget, but that did not outweigh the joy of being able to bless her family.
There are so many things we can't trust in this world- the government, the media, and sometimes even the food we eat. The last thing anyone needs, is to not be able to trust the word of a friend. Check out this post about… Click To Tweet
Tips for Keeping Commitments
It’s hard to remember things sometimes, trust me I get it. I forget things a lot. Especially when I get really busy and have a lot of things going on. But I have eliminated excuses for myself by taking actions that help me remember even in the busiest seasons. I think you will find these three tips useful for helping you remember commitments :
1) Write it down in a journal or a sticky note and place it in a very visible place. The act of writing, alone, helps your brain to remember easier.
2) Set an alarm on your phone. As soon as make a commitment, set an alarm on your phone. It doesn’t matter what the commitment is, even if you only told someone that you will call them back, make that the alarm name and set a time. Many times, my husband gets confused about why my alarm is going off at odd times. Little does he know, I’m getting ready to do something huge- fulfill a promise!
3) Tell an accountability partner. Promises are not only made to other people, you make promises to yourself. Tell someone you trust, your plans. Let that person know that you need them to help you remember and follow-through.
Broken Promises in Dating
When considering a future spouse ask yourself this question about him: Does he keep his word? He should be calling back when he says he will, picking you up when he says he will, and respecting you if he says he cares about you. If there are any discrepancies between what he says and what he does, this could be a red flag. He may not truly be the person you think he is and could have alternative motives. Talking a good game and telling people what you can do is the easiest way people get what they want. Don’t be swooned by words, wait for results. Yes, things will come up and he may not be able to do something based on changed circumstances, but what does he do after that? Does he follow up? Broken promises matter.
Keeping promises instills hope in others and shows them that you are trust-worthy. Promise-keeping is one of the many super powers God has equipped us with to change the lives around us. Speaking of the special power of words, have you checked out this post Your Husband Is Not Your Gossiping Buddy?
Share this post if you are inspired to keep doing good, even when others have disappointed you. Comment below: how important is it for you to keep your promises to people?
You are worthy with or without a wedding ring, Shawandie