It can feel embarrassing to admit you are feeling insecure, jealous, angry, or depressed. But the spirit of jealousy must be exposed.
It’s important to know that it is not rare to have feelings of jealousy; they are common to the human species. But the enemy, Satan, will often use these feelings to make us doubt God and make us feel sad.
As an identity coach and Christian, I like to address issues of the soul because, when they are ignored, emotions can change who we are. From experience I know how embarrassing it is to admit that you are harboring jealousy towards someone. When I was going through that, I kept it to myself for as long as I could. But now I realize that just because I feel it, does not mean that’s who I am or that I am truly a jealous person.
I learned that feelings (though they may seem like our enemies) can be trusted allies, revealing deeper truths that lead to a fulfilling life and richer relationships.
Feeling Jealous
Today we are going to focus on the topic of jealousy. Psychology Today points out that jealousy is “typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship… The threat may be real or imagined.”
If you are experiencing jealousy right now, I want you to ask yourself this question: are you actually jealous or is there something deeper that you want? I will explain below what I mean.
Don’t get stuck on the fact that you’re experiencing a negative emotion—dig deeper to uncover the root cause and see what you might be missing. It’s okay to admit if you’re feeling jealous; it could be your soul signaling a deeper desire or a temptation meant to make you doubt yourself and sabotage your relationships. Recognizing the difference is key to your breakthrough.
Jealousy is not a part of how God created you. He designed you to be loving, kind, gentle, patient, joyful, and self-controlled. Anything outside of these qualities is less than His best for you.
Let’s explore what the feeling of jealousy could be telling you and how you can use it to elevate your relationships, instead of killing them.
1. Misunderstanding
A spirit of jealousy can often stem from what we don’t know or understand about someone. For example, if we don’t feel connected with a person, we might automatically feel jealous of what we see them doing. But if we truly understood the ins and outs of their journey, we would likely celebrate them instead. Don’t be afraid to get to know someone you feel jealous of—understanding can completely change how we feel.
2. Quality Time
Even if you have shared experiences with someone and know their story, you may still feel jealous—sometimes for no apparent reason. Maybe what they’re doing isn’t even extravagant, yet you can’t shake the feeling that their life is somehow better. Sounds irrational, right?
I don’t say that to downplay how strong these emotions can feel, but to help you recognize how jealousy can distort your perspective. More often than not, you’re not actually jealous of the person—you just need to reconnect with them. That lingering discomfort may be a sign that quality time is overdue.
So, reach out. If this person is someone you love and value in your life, I pray you share a deep belly laugh together soon and rekindle your relationship.
3. Realize Your Own Power
Sometimes, what feels like jealousy towards someone is actually frustration with yourself for not taking action in your own life. The truth is, you have the same power to create a life you love as they do.
So, start. Do what brings you joy. Pursue your purpose and finally take action on the goals you’ve been sitting on for years. As you focus on building a meaningful life, you’ll naturally find yourself cheering for others, wanting them to join you on a journey of purpose and fulfillment.
Related Post: How to Be a Humble Wife and Overcome Pride
4. Pray for them
If you’re truly feeling jealous of someone, pray for them—whether they’re a friend and especially if they’re an enemy. The Bible calls us to bless our enemies, even though, from a worldly perspective, it makes more sense to wish the worst for them. But there’s power in praying for people, and through it, you receive healing.
Pray for their success, their safety in travel, and for them to be loving toward their spouse and children. The enemy despises when you do this, because it weakens his grip on your heart. That’s how you defeat him—by choosing love.
5. Deal With the Spirit of Jealousy
Don’t pretend the jealousy doesn’t exist. When I struggled with the spirit of jealousy towards someone close to me, I didn’t talk about it, but I faced it everyday. Every day after work, I went straight into prayer, battling those feelings head-on.
Acknowledge it. Deal with it. And most importantly, forgive yourself. You are not an anomaly—feelings like this are normal. Be gentle with yourself.
Everyone experiences a range of emotions. Satan would love for you to feel shame over them, but don’t give him that power. Instead, bring your feelings to God and let Him transform your heart.
Feeling jealous doesn’t mean you’re a jealous person, and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to act on the feeling. Don’t let the spirit of jealousy keep you from wishing others well or blessing them. Its’ goal is to silence you and trap you in comparison—but you have the power to resist and combat the spirit of jealousy.
Fight back by praying for others, giving when you can, and refusing to gossip or speak negatively about people. The spirit of jealousy didn’t break overnight for me, but it did break eventually. Freedom comes with time, and every step you take to fight, weakens jealousy’s hold on you.
If this blog post spoke to you, save it, share it with someone, and tell me what resonated with you the most. Love you, Gem.