If you’re distracted as a single woman who came to read this blog, you may be asking “Why does it even matter if I’m distracted?”
“Yeah, I get distracted sometimes but I don’t have anything better to do anyways.”
Or maybe you’re not aware that everyday your attention and time are being stolen by things you subconsciously allow.
Distractions are not something we often think about unless someone is trying to talk to us while we’re watching our favorite television show.
What’s your favorite TV show by the way?
As we go through our daily lives, we often deal with things as they come up, instead of being proactive about what we allow in our lives. Many people don’t realize they can control much of what takes up their time and attention.
But what makes me really sad, is that many people do not know what a distraction is in the first place. That used to be me—a distracted single woman. I was a “everything goes” kind of person and my life reflected that.
What’s a Distraction for a Single Woman?
A distraction is anything that diverts our focus from what’s truly important. Knowing how to recognize and master distractions is imperative if you want to grow as a person as quickly as possible in the shortest amount of time.
The enjoyment of your single days depends on a distraction-controlled environment. And the growth of your future marriage will depend on your ability to focus, too.
When I was single, after I became a born-again believer, I started itching for new tattoo. I asked God if I could get one and He said “no.” “It’s a distraction.” I wasn’t as disappointed as I thought I would be when He explained that it was simply a distraction trying to pull my attention away from Him. Clear enough.
So, I asked God to give me something else to do—a goal to achieve. It was obvious I just wanted something to do. I was looking for a thrill. So, I started witnessing to people by leaving my hand-written testimony on windshields in the parking lot of my apartment complex.
Around this time, I also discovered Dave Ramsey, a popular Christian financial advisor. Through Dave, I fell in love with budgeting. I began applying his debt-free principles to tackle my student loans and other debts.
These are good distractions (purposeful distractions) that will make you a better person for your future spouse and yourself.
Decisions Distracted Single Women Make
I wanted a tattoo because I was getting bored, plus I wanted something to take care of. You see, I wanted to nurse my skin back to health by carefully following the tattoo care instructions and tending to my marred skin every day.
What if I told you that, as women, many of our decisions are driven by our desire to care for others and handle responsibilities? Oftentimes, we look in the wrong places but what we really want is to be useful. As designed, we want something care for (such as children) and we want to be depended on (by a spouse). When we don’t have either yet, or one but not the other, we seek out “something to do” until we reach the point where we can’t differentiate the difference between a healthy distraction and a bad one.
Trivia time: Guess who’s the orchestrator of bad distractions?
You guessed it! Satan. He would love for you to be a distracted single woman.
But get this. He makes distractions look like they are a part of our regular, everyday life so we feel powerless to control them. For this reason, it’s essential to accurately identify and label distractions. It’s the only way to know when we need to get rid of something that’s not benefiting our present or future selves. If we can’t recognize distractions and call them out, they rule our days, which essentially rule our life.
Four Examples of Bad Distractions as a Single Woman
- Drama
- In real life and on TV, drama can take our focus away from positive things we should be doing.
- Social Media
- Scrolling on Facebook and Instagram can easily be a major time stealer if we are not careful to set limits. Sometimes social media can hurt you, more than it helps.
- Consumerism
- Consumerism is the need to always spend your hard-earned money on material things. Shopping makes us feel really good. But when we do it without a plan, it hurts our pockets. Not to mention, materialism adds clutter that we now become distracted managing.
- Living with a boyfriend
- Shacking up can deflect from our true personal desires and dreams, because we’re focusing on pleasing someone else.
Survey Your Life
Your single life should be filled with having fun, growing, and experimenting. But bad distractions move you away from discovering your true self and seeking God. Before you know it, you won’t be single anymore. Will you be happy with how you used your time? Or will you be wishing you had more time instead of being a distracted single woman?
Start paying attention to the things in your life that may not be as important as it presents itself to be. Once you can bad recognize distractions, you can get rid of them when they pop up and avoid distraction as a single woman.
Take a look at the things you have going on in your life right now. Evaluate them to see if they are beneficial, bring you joy, and are furthering you along to a better place in life. If not, decrease it or sever it completely and replace it with a good distraction that enhances your focus in the right direction.
Do you know how to recognize a distraction? What is something you did not realize was a distraction before, but now it’s very clear that it is? What can you replace it with?
If you are a busy woman and want to learn how to make more time for God, check out this Busy Woman’s Guide for Christians.