Marry your best friend. You’ve probably heard the cliché, ‘I married my best friend.’ I started to wonder if people truly felt that way about their spouse. I feel that way about my husband to some degree but, what does it really mean that I married my best friend?
Marriage is a special partnership created by God for enjoyment and togetherness.
If a person is being completely honest when they say they’ve married their best friend, that’s simply amazing. The Bible thinks so, too.
Marry Your Best Friend
One day, during breaktime at work, I was reading scriptures on marriage. I searched the words ‘wives obey your husbands’ on the Bible app on my phone. Verses from Ephesians 5, I Peter, Colossians 3, and a few other scriptures stood out to me.
Full disclosure: I was in a moment where I was being disciplined by the Lord for falling short as a wife. And that is what prompted me to search scriptures on the topic of submission.
Disciplining His children is one of the things God promises to do as our heavenly Father. An earthy father that loves his child, does the same. Deuteronomy 8:5, Hebrews 12:6–11, Proverbs 3:12 are just a few scriptures on that. But He corrects me in the most nurturing ways. I fully accepted my shortcomings as He convicted my heart. Then He used the scriptures as a reminder of how He wants me to be as a wife.
With a solemn countenance, I read scriptures such as “wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”. I used each scripture to review my marriage. And suddenly my mouth dropped when I read I Peter 3:7:
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them (your wife) with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
First of all, I cried because my husband’s prayers wont be hindered due to the fact that he gives honor to me. But when I re-read “being heirs together of the grace of life” a word flashed in my head — BEST FRIENDS (technically that’s two words, Shawandie).
Heirs Together of the Grace of Life
Heirs is defined as people who are legally entitled to the property or rank of something. In this case, that property is Grace. Marriage was designed for husbands and wives to enjoy and celebrate the benefits of life together. Husband and wife are suppose to experience the Grace of God everyday together. Hand in hand, moving forward through life, eyes fixed on God, depending on Him to help them overcome the trials of life. Together.
But I was not being the best-est friend I could be to my husband. I had my own agenda. I was 10 feet ahead of him, looking back at him, instead of walking side by side to enjoy life with him. Now that I know that we are joint heirs of the property of Grace, I am walking back to grab his hand and walk beside him.
Though the scripture is referring to husbands and wives in context, this passage, “being heirs together of the grace of life”, can easily be applied to any relationship. A best friend is not just someone you spend a lot of time with or have fun with on Friday nights at the club. It’s a person you experience everything life has to offer with. Through ups and downs, feelings, successes, failures and making decisions together, the bond is strengthened between two people.
What Is The Grace of Life?
Wow. So that is my new definition of a Best Friend. Your co-beneficiary to the grace that life has to offer. The grace of life means the ability to get through things together, it means enjoying the simple things that God has put on this earth for us, it means supernatural favor, it means laughter, forgiveness, do-overs, and so much more, including the fact that both of you are alive to be together today.
Hear me out. I’m not saying go out and find your closest guy friend and marry your best friend. I’m saying you have to cultivate and sustain a high level of friendship when you get married. Marriage doesn’t have to be boring and mundane and day-to-day. Instead of just aspiring to be married, direct your hope towards being one with your future spouse. Have fun together. Marriage is not just a business transaction or a ticket to have children. That’s why these 6 Unique Reasons why husband and wife kiss, might surprise you.
I have also heard people say that their husband is not their best friend. That they have other friends or a sister that’s their best friend. However, in the sense that there should be openness and shared experiences in marriage, your spouse is definitely one of your closest friends.
Talk to me: Does this put things in perspective for you like it did for me? Would you agree that it’s important to maintain Best Friend status with your spouse no matter how long you’ve been married?
Related post: Be Committed to Your Husband Before You Get Married