Be Committed to Your Husband Before You Meet Him

You can be committed to your husband before you even meet him. Marriage means committing your whole self to someone else. You’re no longer on the market or up for grabs.

As a single woman, sometimes your eyes are all over the place looking for “the right one”. And then one day he shows up, marries you, and you couldn’t be happier. But there’s one problem—you still have wandering eyes. You shouldn’t wait until you get married before you change. Get ready for your spouse now. Read on to learn how God helped me prepare for my husband.

Seeking Attention

Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday. I was working at a previous job, walking either to my work desk or away from it (ok, ok maybe not like it was yesterday). But I do know I was looking super cute that day which means somebody, and their momma, better notice me.

At that moment God clearly spoke to me, “You need to stop seeking attention now. Once you get married you wont be able to just turn that off. And you can’t seek attention from other men when you’re married. Be committed to your husband now.” I may not be able to recall what He said word for word, but His message was unmissable!

Some people would say I had grounds to seek attention. I was a young single woman. I had my whole life ahead of me, and I had no one to answer to….No one but God.

When He explained this to me, I didn’t fight it because I knew it was true. If I was inherently an attention seeker before I got married, I would be one while I was married. I never thought in the slightest I was an attention seeker until God intervened and showed me myself. Whether, I wanted to admit it or not, getting compliments always felt good. Even if didn’t need a compliment from everyone, a compliment from the right person at the right time could send me over the edge. Things changed for me that day. I decided to be committed to my husband before I even met him.

The Test

There was a guy who worked at the office on the cleaning crew. He would always make remarks toward me as I left work around 6 pm. He told me I was beautiful along with other adoring words. But I didn’t (or rather I couldn’t) let it affect me. I wouldn’t allow myself to care about the attention. I literally kept walking, wishing him goodnight as I headed out the door. When I got in my car each evening, I didn’t allow myself to ponder over every word he said or smirk to myself thinking ‘I know he wants this’.

I sincerely did hope his night went well but I couldn’t entertain his interest or even lead him to believe that it was ok to hit on me. Because it was clear to me that he was not my husband. I knew what his intentions were, so I couldn’t even give so much as a conversation.

Then Along Came a Crush

I passed the first test. Phew! But then I developed a crush on someone. If you’ve ever had a crush, you know how star-struck and paralyzed you can become. You put on your best face and calculate everything you say and do to impress him. It took constant mental readjustments to make sure that when I got ready in the morning, I wasn’t getting ready for him. Why? Because he wasn’t my husband.

It had been awhile since I had a crush on someone and I forgot how debilitating that force could be. I don’t even want to think about the trouble I could’ve gotten myself into. But I decided to walk in my new-found revelation and to act like I was already married. God is always on time!

You are Already Married

When you really think about it, you are already somebody’s wife. He just hasn’t met you yet. I am so happy I worked out my need for attention before I got married and learned how to be committed to my husband. Now, as a married woman, I am focused and not plagued with thoughts like “I wish my husband heard this compliment I just got! I hope he knows just how lucky he is.” I don’t think like that because I renewed my mind before I got married.

When you’re married, or in a relationship, temptation is a real thing. It can start by accepting compliments and nice gestures from the wrong person and liking it. You don’t want to be face to face with infidelity before you decide what you’re going to do. Start now. Protect your mind and emotions from going down a spiral of needing more and more attention.

Be strong, my gems. Do not look for men to reassure your beauty or your worth. Encourage and compliment yourself before someone else has to, and compliment other women while you’re at it. But be less concerned about what people are thinking when you walk by and be more focused on Jesus and what He thinks of you (He adores you by the way). That focus will bring great inner peace and soul healing that no man can provide. And that focus is what’s going to attract the right man to you.

What are some ways you are preparing for your future spouse? How do you hope he’s preparing for you? What will you do to stay committed to your husband?

For help becoming your best self before marriage, check out these cool resources.