If you are a single woman that came to read this blog to find out what the heck I’m talking about, you may be asking “Why does it even matter if I’m distracted as a single woman?” “I get distracted sometimes but I don’t have anything better to do anyways.”
Or maybe you are not aware that everyday your attention and time are being stolen by things you subconsciously allow.
Distraction is not something we often think about unless someone tries to talk to us while we’re watching our favorite TV show. What’s your favorite TV show by the way?
As we move throughout life, day in and day out, we tend to deal with things after they “pop up” instead of being proactive about what is allowed in our lives and what isn’t. Many people do not realize that they can control many of the things that compete for their time and attention.
But what makes me really sad, is that many people do not know what a distraction is in the first place. That used to be me — a distracted single woman. I was a “everything goes” kind of person and my life reflected that.
What is a Distraction?
A distraction is anything that diverts our focus away from what is truly important. Knowing how to recognize and master distractions is imperative if you are interested in growing as a person as quickly as possible in the shortest amount of time.
The enjoyment of your single days depends on a distraction-controlled environment. And the growth of your future marriage will depend on your ability to focus, too.
When I was single, after I became a born-again believer, I started itching for another tattoo. I asked God if I could get one and He said “no, it’s a distraction”. I wasn’t as disappointed as I thought I would be when He explained that it was a distraction vying to take my attention away from Him. Clear enough.
So, I asked God to give me something else to do — a goal to achieve. It was obvious I just wanted something to do. I was looking for a thrill. I think around this time is when I started witnessing to people by leaving my hand-written testimony on car windshields in my apartment complex.
Around this time I also discovered Dave Ramsey, a popular Christian financial advisor. After reading Total Money Makeover, I fell in love with budgeting. I started practicing his debt-freedom concepts to combat my student loans and other debt.
“Distractions” like these (witnessing and financial planning) are good and purposeful because they will make you a better person for your future spouse.
Disclaimer: I am not saying that tattoos are wrong or sinful. But I know that there are right and wrong times to do certain things. Where is your heart at when you seek out to do something?
The Decisions We Make As Distracted Single Women
I wanted a tattoo because I was getting bored, plus I wanted something to take care of. You see, I wanted to nurse my skin back to health by carefully following the tattoo care instructions and tending to my marred skin every day.
What if I told you that, as women, a lot of our decisions stem from our yearn to take care of things and other people? Oftentimes, we look in the wrong places but what we really want is to be useful. As designed, we need something to focus on (such as children) and we want to be depended on (by a spouse). When we don’t have either yet, or one but not the other, we seek out “something to do” until we reach the point where we can’t differentiate between a healthy distraction and a bad one.
Trivia Game:
Guess who’s the orchestrator of bad distractions? You guessed it! Satan. He would love for you to be a distracted single woman.
But get this. He makes distractions look like they are a part of our regular, everyday life to make us feel like we have no control over how they happen. For this reason, it’s important to know how to label distractions.
It’s the only way to know when to get rid of something that’s not benefiting our present or future selves. If we can’t recognize them and call them out, distractions rule our days, which is essentially rule our life.
5 Examples of Bad Distractions
Drama in real life and from TV shows. Drama can take away our focus from positive things we should be doing.
Social Media– Scrolling on Facebook and Instagram can easily be a major time stealer if we are not careful and set limits. Sometimes social media can hurt you, more than it helps you.
Consumerism is the need to always spend our hard-earned money on material things. Shopping makes us feel really good. But when we do it without a plan, it hurts our pockets. Not to mention, materialism adds clutter that we now become distracted managing.
Living with a boyfriend can deflect from our true personal desires and dreams, as we focus on pleasing someone else.
Overeating- When our faces are constantly down indulging on what’s on our plates, we are distracted from what the devil is doing around us.
Survey Your Life
In the future, you do not want to be a distracted mother and wife. It is important to learn how to be present and focused now. Your single life should be filled with having fun, growing, and experimenting. However, bad distractions take us away from knowing our true selves and knowing God. Before you know it, you won’t be single anymore. Will you be happy with how you used your time? Or will you be wishing you had more time instead of being distracted when you were single?
Start paying attention to the things in your life that may not be as important as it presents itself to be. Once you can recognize distractions, you can get rid of them as soon as they pop up.
Take a look at the things you have going on in your life right now. Evaluate them to see if they are beneficial, bring you joy, or further you along to a better place in life. If not, decrease it or sever it completely. Replace it with a good distraction that enhances your focus in the right direction.
Do you know how to recognize a bad distraction? What is something you did not realize was a distraction before, but now it is very clear that it is? What can you replace it with?
Love you Gem, Shawandie
G.E.M.S- Godly Women Enjoying the Magnificence of Singleness
If you are a busy woman and want to learn how to make more time for God, check out this Busy Woman’s Guide for Christians.