Several years ago, I found myself living the consequences of my bad decisions. How do you fix a broken reputation?
I betrayed my friends, I made horrible judgment calls, and my reputation was tarnished. When you’re in this state of knowing you messed up (badly), you praise every day that passes by.
Each passing day meant eventually everyone I hurt would move on. At least, so I thought. But what I didn’t know then is that your reputation stays no matter how hard you try to isolate yourself or how long you are in denial.
Your current reputation remains the same, until you successfully build up another one.
Your reputation is how other people perceive you. You might not have the ability to control how everyone thinks about you, but you can build up enough credibility to where your new actions speak for themselves and new people are vouching for you.
Related blog post: The Importance of Keeping Your Promises
The reality is, you can’t take an eraser and swipe it across the board once or twice to get a clean slate. Cleaning up your reputation is a full-blown process that requires committed work.
Rest assured, the process is worth it. According to Proverbs 22:1, “a good reputation and respect are worth much more than silver and gold.” In other words, a reputation you can be proud of is worth far more than any material possession you will ever own.
Confess Your Mess
First, you have to start by confessing the mess you got yourself into. What did you do? Acknowledge the role you played. The easiest route anyone can take is playing the victim card — blaming ‘yo momma’, your friends, or your immaturity for the decisions you make in life. If you are reading this post, you are a grown woman now. Grown and fully responsible for your actions.
When you are in denial of what part you played, you adopt a “this too shall pass” mentality; you go on your way as if nothing ever happened. Blaming and denying prevent you from making progress in life and you avoid any effort to make things right. You lose a part of yourself when you’re dishonest, and worst of all, you accept your life for what it is — unfruitful. Confessing your mess and apologizing makes you an open and honest person, which is a closer step to freedom. Read on.
Talk to a friend
Talk to someone who loves you. Make sure this person is mature and nonjudgmental. Before facing the person you betrayed, confide in a friend who will listen and support you. This takes a lot of humility and bravery; you should be proud of yourself. When it was time for me to talk to someone about what was going on in my life, I had to do it scared. You will have to do it scared too, but do not skip this step. If you do not have a close friend or family member to talk to, seek counseling. It is worth me stressing that you should make sure this is someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Confessing to my friend was very brief. The few words she said in response, made me feel safe. I felt more like myself after opening up, and less like a fake person.
Partner with God to Fix Your Reputation
Like I said before, this is a process. On the journey to building a clean reputation, you need Jesus (a lot of Him). We cannot maintain being a good person aside from a Holy, perfect God. Without Him, sooner or later, we will fall back into our old ways or old way of thinking. When God is your teacher, you can actually maintain a new lifestyle of righteousness. Without Him, it’s hard to differentiate between right and wrong. Even with God, you will stumble sometimes but He will not let you fall. With God on your side, you’ll feel more empowered to do what is right. Not to mention, He will let you know when it’s time to apologize.
Say Sorry to Fix Your Reputation
all! I asked God when and how I should say sorry to someone I betrayed and the answer wasn’t what I expected. He didn’t want me to re-open a door that had already been closed. Instead, I apologized to that person in my heart. I was genuinely sorry for the hurt I had caused. In the form of meditation, I released that person and I forgave myself. In order to continue moving forward in God, we have to fix all the offenses we caused — holding no grudges or unforgiveness. Matthew 5:23–24 says if you are offering to God at the altar, and while there you remember someone has something against you, leave your gift or offering and go reconcile with that person first. A clear heart, is the best heart for God to work through.
Link Up with Like-Minded People
Always stay connected to people who are on the same journey as you — that is, the journey to a clean and purposeful life. You can connect with people at church, in small bible study groups, or by being a part of a virtual groups such as women empowerment groups on Facebook. The people you connect with should believe in self-worth and growing in Christ. They should emphasize the importance of being the best and truest version of oneself. Your circle should also never settle for mediocrity. The Bible says iron sharpens iron; we need to have like-minded people around us to push us forward. Limit your time with people who keep you stagnant or pull you back into your old lifestyle.
Bad company corrupts good character. (I Corinthians 15:33 NIV)
Follow these steps and you will be well on your way to creating a better reputation for yourself. You’ll transform into someone you’ll be proud to present to the world in spite of your past mistakes. I am believing God for complete healing and continued growth in your life.
tart today, you will not be the same person next year, or even in 6 months. Keep in mind, that you are not changing for people. No matter how hard you try, some people reserve the right to hold on to their opinion of you. Ultimately, you will be happy with yourself because you will be proud of who you are becoming.
Related Blog Post: 5 Steps to Confidence
Have you ever done something that changed the way people see you? How did it make you feel? Have you taken steps to overcome it?
You are worthy with or without a wedding ring, Shawandie